The admiral looked thru the gates and stepped up to Saint Peter, "Just one thing, sonny. I hope there's no submariners here. They are the rudest, most obnoxious variety of human ever, and if there are any of them here, I'm not going in; I'd rather go to the other place."
"Don't worry, admiral," said Saint Peter. "No submariner has ever made it into Heaven. You'll find none of 'em here."
So, the admiral goes on into Heaven. Moments later, he comes upon an amazing sight. It is a swaggering figure in a green topside jacket festooned with patches, huge Seiko watch on his wrist, a mostly empty bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, squadron ballcap perched on his head, and a beautiful woman on either arm.
Incensed, the admiral rushes back to Saint Peter and gets in his face."Hey! You said there were no submariners here! So what the hell is THAT?!?"
"Don't worry, admiral," says Saint Peter gently. "That's God. He just THINKS he's a submariner...."